Originally uploaded by theurbankazoo.

The Orange Kazoo : THAT kind of day...

Friday, October 15, 2004


THAT kind of day...

Yesterday was one of those days that God gives you to pay you back for only praying when you think you're going to die or you have Diarrhea or you're lost in KKK country and you just so happen to be black or a deer. It started off ok. I headed off to New College with Bryn because she had a meeting with her advisor and I had to meet with my group from EPI Synthesis to discuss our skit for class. One of the guys in my group is deaf-already making the process of putting together a movement piece hard enough. However, that day he decided to bring his dog...who might I mention is also deaf. So at one point we're trying to decide what we want to do and say and the deaf guy (Steve) gets down low and pretends he's going to pounce at his dog. This sends the dog into a frenzy which includes him barking and growling and running around in circles-which neither of them can hear! And we're in a giant echoing room of the school! Give me a break! Jeez...and at one point the dog even bites me while I'm trying to make a point about our piece. Ahhh....
Then I had a hellish time in Environment, Culture, and Development because in the class there's this girl named Irene who's all quiet so you think she's alright. But then whenever we're in a debate in class, she never raises her hand and just states her opinion like it's the final answer we've all been looking for...as if she's the fucking messiah and we're all gonna get down on our knees (which is possible since transgendered prostitute friend Riki is in there) and thank her for having such a goddamn grand opinion. It wouldn't have bothered me so much if I hadn't been mauled by a dog earlier.
Then I had to take the subway home and on it was this little girl and her father-there was also this young-looking black man with three children of all different races who all called him dad and he looked as if he might be on drugs-and they were so sweet together. So I thought about it and decided, hey, isn't it about time that I, Jill, get knocked up? Yes, why not? Then I can raise the kind of person that everyone SHOULD be.
Anyway, so I get off the subway and I'm walking home and I'm on the phone with my mom. So before I go in the building I stop and finish my conversation with her. While I'm doing that, a randon elderly black man walks by me. I don't really notice him until he turns around, stares at me, and says, "What are you looking at?" I stupidly point to myself as if to ask, "Me?" He proceeds in saying some random curse words....and that's it! I had taken all I could take! SO I whirled around and was in the middle of the sentence, "Shut the fuck up, mother fuc..." when he went into the liquor store leaving me all alone cursing at no one.
Then I got home only to realize that Myuko has been cooking up some native Japanese cuisine in our room. I've never smelled anything like that in my entire life, people. Never. I thought someone had died. I could not have been so lucky.

Jill, I was with you all the way until the part about you getting knocked up-not that I'm against that-but who in the hell is gonna get such a mean girl pregnant? I mean, I was kinda naive, nice and optimistic when I was pregnant, and the child I had in 1986-some might say is kinda cynical and sarcastic, so just think if you had a baby-you'd probably spawn a little Satan, but I bet it would be quite pretty.
Oh yeah, I love the part about being in KKK country. Remember when we were lost in some part of Georgia, and we had to ask for directions from what looked like The Heart of the Confederacy social club-remember how I told you to stay in the car? Remember how who actually helped us was a "Californian" sounding hippie-who would have thought, huh?
1. I hate dogs. You knew that.
2. I am so glad that I'm not the only one who actually prays to higher power when doubled over with cramps of the possession... or just a bad case of the runs. No really, I thouhght I was the only one.
3. I only approve of your impregnation if I can be the PADRE! Or maybe Swampkid will do.

Anyway, I'm so sorry your day was crap. Maybe you just need to run a nice long bubble bath, light a few candles (I know you hippies are into that aromatherapy stuff) and turn on some Journey.

Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?