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Originally uploaded by theurbankazoo.

The Orange Kazoo : Skeet, Skeet, Mosucka!

Monday, September 27, 2004

 

Skeet, Skeet, Mosucka!

Aww, man. I went to my former blogs today and did a little reminiscing. It was so much fun. http://urbankazoo.motime.com and http://eatyofamous.motime.com
I thought I'd update on my new life goal. Bryn and I decided that the only thing we can do with our lives is publish a book. No, not Sad Ponies, but Why the Fuck Are You Talking? Here we will give tips on how you too can shut the fuck up. One idea I had today is that if you're a stupid bitch and say things that don't interest me, you should commit your life to giving oral pleasure to others. That way everybody wins AND you won't have the time to open your mouth and say stupid shit that will upset me. Yes, I'm becoming a bitch and I like it so shut the fuck up.
I'm having a bad day. I even made the comment, "I'm so mad I want to shake an infant." What a horrible thing for me to say, right? Yeah, I know. Hopefully I'll improve my attitude and limit my use of profanity by tomorrow. Hopefully not.
This city is making me bitter. It's a cold city with cold people and now I'm just one of them. All that's missing from me being a complete San Franciscan is that I don't smoke, I shower, I'm not taking estrogen, and I haven't stopped giving to the homeless. I will always do that. They're my favorite people. The only thing is, I'm noticing that I'm starting to give money to homeless men in order to raise my self-esteem. If you give them dollars, they tell you how gorgeous you are. Remember that when you're feelings down, sistas.
I gave a tip at a restaurant. It was stolen by an Asian lady who was walking by the restaurant. I love this.
To make my day even worse, I have that Jewish rapper's songs stuck in my head. You don't want to spend your day rapping the words, "Holla back at your Jewish boy, fo sho." You won't make friends easy.
I absolutely adore Flava Flav though, and that makes my life worth living. I'm very mad at Brigitte for breaking the cat's heart too. Damn you, foreign woman! Damn you! Ryan Starr aka Raging Bitch from Hell is making me angry...Charo...ah, she is SO my hero!!! I love you, Charo.
This new Real World is proving to be a blast. I HATE EVERYONE. And since I love to hate now, this is a good thing.
My mother and I have decided to try out for Amazing Race. She has started lifting weights ever since I came up with the idea. I love you, Alma.
Have a good day, everyone....


Comments:
I am so very afraid of you-doesn't your school have some type of counseling with that graduate psych department. Although you're a mean bitch, with a gutter mouth, I kinda like this new personality. I mean, let's face it, this side of you was always dying to get out-you're just facing up to it now.

I have to go now cause I'm trying to sign up for this new aerobics class.

I love you too sweetie!

War Eagle!

P.S. I have also decided to start giving to the homeless to get compliments-if they don't give me compliments, can I take the money back?
 
Padre's anecdote for the day...

Hey, remember Que Pasa Burrito Co? I know you do, we drove past it everyday taking Hamilton home (ah, Hamiltoe). Well, for some reason or another it has been completely demolished. I mean, I drove by the other day and saw an empty lot with two bull doziers buzzing about. I was enraged, of course, so David and I decided we sholud go to the lot and protest with signs that say, "Que Pasa con QUE PASA???" How do you like THEM apples? You knew that?

Man, I almost forgot about eatyofamous. Those were the good ol' days.
 
i think our book will sell millions. i have really good new college gossip that i will share on our walk to school tomorrow morning. it involes far-gone, and steve, and leg girl. woo hoo.
 
Britney,
I saw the leveling of Que Pasa too! It turns out they are building a Walgreen's pharmacy there. Just thought you might like to know why it's gone!
Maggie
 
Wallgreens Shmallgreens! Que Pasa Burrito Co was the best establishment to never receive any business in the history of Auburn. It was a burrito place with the gas pumps still in the parking lot from when it was a gas station, for pete's sake! That's brilliant!

padre
 
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