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Originally uploaded by theurbankazoo.

The Orange Kazoo

Monday, December 13, 2004

 

Merry Freakin' Christmas!

Well...there's a lot that I COULD say, but I don't really have the time right now and I've decided to put this blog on hold until I come back to San Fran after Christmas Break. I'll be back in Auburn this Saturday and I'm sure I'll be waaaaay too busy to post then because Auburn is such a happenin' place. So, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good drunken New Year's!

Monday, November 29, 2004

 

Thank God for Thanksgiving!!! Mosucka!!!

Woo! Woo-Woo (David from Real World:New Orleans style)! Yeah! Who's Thanksgiving was off the chain? This girl's! Phyllis and her sisters proved to be awesome. I just attempted to type a paragraph about it but had to backspace because I really can't capture the essence of why it was too hot to trot. But just know this: TOFURKEY IS HORRRRRRRRRIBLE.
Due to recent drama in da club, my mood had been a bit off kilter, but I'm back to normal now, which is good since this is going to be a very busy week for me. So what I'm basically saying is that I'm supposed to be typing an essay right now and I got a lot of work to do before Thursday, so consider this a farewell for the week.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

 

When Doves Cry...and sometimes shit...

Nothing has really been up with the master lately. Thanksgiving is on the way and since I am not going home, I am attending a dinner elsewhere. Bryn and I are going to be doing the whole Thanksgiving thing at the house of a woman from our Writing Well class named Phyllis...well, technically it's not her house, it's her sister's. She invited us anyway. Phyllis is a forty-six year-old black woman with braces who Bryn and I have taken a liking to. And for whatever reason, she's taken a liking to us. Anyway, that should prove to be a fun event and I will post to let you know how it goes. But her sister already bought me a tofurkey...so it's obviously gonna be on like a condom.
Well, I wish I had something exciting to say, but I don't. City life is supposed to be exciting, but it's not. I'm supposed to go crazy and be a wild college student, but I can't. Nothing seems to be working the way it should. However, my EPI Synthesis class is having our performance on December 14th. That should be exciting. All I know is that we're starting off our performance in the dark...and we're gonna be on the floor holding hands in a circle...and we're gonna sing and throw up the invisible ball of energy with our voices. Jeez, the joy of going to a hippy school.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

 

TV, I love thee...

This is a TV update because I haven't talked about television in a long time, and since pop culture is my life and my purpose, I must deliver.
Surreal Life....I'll miss you so much. I love everyone...Charo (my favorite), Brigitte, Flavor, Jordan,Dave...wait, I'm sorry. I forgot that I hate that bitch on wheels, Ryan Starr. Anyone else want her wiped off the planet? But anyway, I recently found out that Brigitte and Flav are still together and are coming out with a VH1 reality show called "Strange Love." I will watch. I will be addicted. I will love it so much I will become pregnant.
"Desperate Housewives"....what a yummy hour of unrealistic drama and romping! I love Bree more than I love my uterus and I can't wait until she discovers her husband is gay! Oh, the drama will unfold, unravel, un-everything.
Battle of the Sexes...hmmm.....I'm not impressed. Not even with Coral...yes, I know. It is a sad day.
Well, it's raining here in beautiful San Francisco, therefore the streets smell of urine and Indonesian food. And let me tell you, folks, that is quite the concoction.

It's Veteran's Day so I have no class. I decided that it's the perfect time to do my laundry. I've only done it three times since I left home over three months ago, and so I guess it's a little past due.
Well..that's a wrap, I guess.

Monday, November 08, 2004

 

We've done it now...

Oh my God. Our lives are over. Half of this country elected that asshole into office again....I can't believe it...I don't understand...what? Why? How come? Why come? I just don't get it.
But fear not, my friends. We will fight, we will uprise, and we will be victorious. Because Jill is starting the revolution and it WILL be televised. So here's the plan, we MUST get rid of Republicans...we MUST!
1. We take away their KFC!
2. We take away their Montel Williams Show
3. We take away their Casual Corner
4. We take away their TBS
5. We take away their Toby Keith
6. We take away their re-runs of "Cheaters"
7. We take away their O'Reilly Factor
8. We take away their Winnie the Pooh sweatshirts...
That's all it's gonna take, pals, and we've got it won!
Jeez...I don't what to say. We're screwed...but here's one uplifting thought in a sea of negativity-No wait....there's nothing.

Monday, November 01, 2004

 

Halloween...or Not

Let me start off by saying that last week, I passed a homeless man and gave him some of my spare change. He said, "Aww, you're damn pretty too!" and shook and kissed my hand for an extended period of time. Um...hmmm....what to say about this....I LOVED IT! I went up to my room and had wet dreams galore! Damn, I hope I run into him again.
Anyway, on Saturday, I spent a good solid hour preparing my costume-and part of Friday too since I shaved my head for more of a realistic view of a smoker-and the result was truly frightening. I know this because Myuko came in our room and screamed when she saw me. Maybe it was because I was sitting on the bed in white face with gauze and tape on my neck, but maybe not, you never really know.
But anyway, the party was...bad. There were hardly any New College people there, but there was this one guy who talked about why he wouldn't be monogamous-he was in his sixties. Then there was this guy who stole my position as the token black person-actually, no, there were several black people there-and he was weird. I didn't understand anything he said and it was annoying. Then there was this girl who was dressed as an elf and went on and on about how elves were tall...which makes no sense to me. Lord of the Rings is ruining my childhood.
SO that was the party pretty much. After that, me, Bryn, and this woman from my EPI class named Mary went to a diner and there I witnessed something that changed my life forever. THE WORST BREAKFAST EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Behind us there was this group of three sitting in a booth. They didn't talk to one another the entire time we were there. There was one Asian guy who looked angry and lost and didn't make eye contact with anyone at the table once. Then there was this girl who eventually just gave up and put her head face down on the table. Then there was a guy who smiled to himself the entire time as if this Worst Breakfast Ever wasn't really happening to him, but in case it was he had to recite a joke to himself over and over in his head. I didn't understand how or why they knew each other, what made them decide to go out to an early breakfast together, and why they wouldn't just call it quits and leave. Anyway, they were quite a sight to see and well worth the torment of the party.
However, today is starting out to be a bad day. Bryn had already told off a pigeon, stared down a guy in BART for staring at HER, and said, "I couldn't join a gang because I don't like people enough." And I'm not much better. Maybe it will improve. But there's your update, mosuckas.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

 

Ahhh! No time!

Jeez...no time to comment today either. My life has suddenly become very busy. But I can tell you this before I go: Halloween is just a few days away and Bryn and I are attending this party someone from New College is throwing. We're dressing up as the before and after effects of smoking. Don't ask...I have no idea how we came up with it, but it was fairly late in the evening if that explains it even a little bit.
I will most definitely have to post on our Halloween adventure next week.

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